When Your Faith Grows Bigger Than All Your Fears Rolled Into One

As I write this, I could be scared to death. But I’m not. I choose to have faith. I choose to be happy. I choose to know in my heart that I’m safe and all is well. I’ve chosen to “put all my eggs in one basket,” and I know that means this one channel could stop at any moment and I’m willing to take that risk, because it’s tied to a strong commitment I’ve made and it gives me the freedom to go where I’m called.  I’ve chosen to say “yes” to the path that has chosen me. Every day after meditation and prayer, I playfully ask from deep in my heart, “What if it really is about the journey after all?” And then I quietly ask, “Where would You have me go? What would You have me do? What would You have me say and to whom?” Then I go!

I’ve shared this story ad nauseam, “to a sickening or excessive degree,” according to the Merriam-Webster definition, so hopefully this is the last time you’ll see it here for a while. I just want to start with it today for myself, to see it in writing one more time, to feel it, to share it because sometimes I find it hard to believe it’s all happening. Only for a moment though. I’ve grown used to seeing the miracles that surround us every day. I’m blissfully aware when God surprises and delights me with the gifts of time and love for everyone who crosses my path, as well as the friends I will never meet. Because my faith is bigger than all my fears rolled into one.

For the past few years I’ve been on the most amazing adventure and I’ve not taken one minute of it for granted. Every time I get in the Jeep I say a word of thanks and declare “this is my job, this is what I do.” I keep my head high and my heart open, finding inspiration wherever I go. I’m empowered by the people I meet and the friends I make every day. I’m blown away with inspiration every time I go to my social media sites and see the wonderful things others are doing out there in the world of “I want to make a difference.”

I started out in 2015 making very rough, “as-is” videos and posting them on Facebook whenever I got the inspiration to share something, which was almost every day. It was so exciting for me to do that. I felt close to everyone. I felt I wasn’t alone. In my mind, we were having a conversation. I would learn something or see something that moved me and could hardly wait to share it with you as though we were best friends. I would post an early morning thought while out for a walk or run on a beautiful back road, usually with some cows in the shot for happiness and a smile. I’d pull over on the side of the road “somewhere” to show you the sunset and share with you an experience I might have had with a stranger at a gas station while on my 18-hour drive. I would post videos or photos at a Susan G. Komen event in Colorado, or at a Special Olympics event in California where I was volunteering, or maybe each December at the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital Marathon Weekend in Memphis. The stories I gathered and the people I met every day fed my desire to belong somewhere, to feel compassion for everyone, and to empower my belief in a world where no one is excluded and there is room for everyone to do their part.

Today I find myself at a crossroads. I’ve been so focused on being “a girl in a Jeep” out there loving the world, saying “yes” when someone asked if I could help, going to them instead of asking them to come to me, that I haven’t thought about how I would monetize this gift of inspiration. By not chasing money, I’ve been able to live a miracle.

Being a person who walked away from high paying, secure jobs to follow my heart, I do have a practical side, a business side, that tells me money is energy and I have to keep doing my part with that, too. In order to support our economy, I have to make money to give money and it’s something I need to provide the means to continue being GoTerriGo.  We’ll see how that plays out, I’m not sure about the “how” I just have to keep trusting.

I guess my point in writing this post is to be transparent with you and to tell you it’s ok to start where you stand. It’s progress that inspires, not perfection. It’s ok to follow your heart and do something daring even if it doesn’t make sense to those who know you. Shine your light. Climb into your version of “the Jeep” and go. See where it takes you instead of following someone else’s map. Others might try and pin you down to a destination and ask you to find the words to explain what you are doing or where exactly you think you’re going. In serving your desire to accommodate someone and put him at ease, or to make sense of this tremendously strong “heart-pull to do good in the world” in order for it to make sense to someone else, you might lose your way and then everyone gets lost in your efforts. That’s no good to anyone, now is it?

Maybe when you can’t find the words for who you are and what you’re doing you are right where you are supposed to be.

So fill your tank, take a deep breath, get some water and go. Life loves you. And so do I.

Yours truly, T

 

 

 

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